Thursday, October 30, 2008

That championship season

Duane's a natural. And yes, our new building has like 5 of those tv's in the background. See, your tax dollars aren't wasted.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

You rode your bike in? You sexy MF!

I couldn't help but notice the higher number of bicycles on the road this morning. Yay, the fair weather commuters are back. Problem is, today was still kinda brisk so you have to pay for that pantsfree ride home with a little chillin' this morning. My I-Pod kept me warm. I'll list some of the songs when I get around to it but let's just say there are no headbanger songs that middle aged bike shop owners WOOD rock to. Don't get me wrong. I love these guys but their drop-off is going to be dramatic which will be quite comical to me.

Monday, October 27, 2008

There goes the kicking game

My knee consultant was nice enough to send me a whole bunch of exercise examples so I can strengthen my f-ed up knee and delay the replacement as long as possible. But, being the half-wit that I am I just can't get over grandpa's shag area rug. That kind of movement surely led grandpa to break wind. From this position grandpa may say:

"If we have chicken one more time I'm taking a hostage" or

"Alright already, that house dress makes your ass look fat" or

"Get that GD cat out of here" or ...

Art is so misunderstood

For somebody who has a head owie from a bike crash

Sunday, October 26, 2008


I took a break from serious snacking to ride my bike to the falls and back.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Let's get stupid...Part 34

Big Johnny Mac is one of my followers on Twitter. Gone are the days of princess phones. We now have Twitter.

Friday, October 24, 2008

The commish is wise

I launder...therefore, I am

I was asked to wash the black cycling clothes and couldn't get the job done yesterday. Today is a new day. I told Mrs I can do her other clothes if she wishes. She doesn't wish.
I've already turned those hard boiled eggs into a delicious sandwich and am now planning the rest of the day's dining adventures. We've gots some turkey, leftover casserole, meatloaf and some fairly questionable spaghetti to choose from.

Your ideas about laundry, my dining choices and life in general will be appreciated today only.
There's a BB King song that goes some thing like - 'Here it is 3 o'clock in the morning and I can't even close my eyes'. I think I've been up since 1:40. Not to worry because I'm off today and will be able to sleepy sleepy almost any time I want.

Boy, another one of those cookies sure sounds good right now.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Let's not mess around. Let's do this cortisone thing every day at 4 pm. Oh, and it always amuses me that people who whine like little bitches about a head cold give the guy who's got bone on bone in his knee shit.

Doctor's visit

This isn't my knee. I knew you'd be wondering. Dr Ed showed me on my x-rays where my knee is partially shot and really shot. He said he never has to convince people when the time is right for a knee replacement. He said as long as I can ride a bike 23 miles round trip to work every day he's not overly concerned. Then Dr Ed gave the gift of cortisone or was it prednasone. My knee feels better but then again I was just fed and watered. I was also told to avoid any kind of yard work and to keep buying jerseys to keep up my spirits.

What time is your brother picking us up?

Yes boys and girls, while you're at work slaving over a hot keyboard (not to be confused with slaving over a hot microwave for you stay-at-home-Rosenbergs) HE took the LRT to the airport for people watching and a cup of coffee. This particular photo is for Mrs to show her the TSA's uniform. J Edgar Hoover would have preferred more of a sun dress with spectator pumps.
I like the couples the best because the wife is always leading the old man around by his...well, you know. And she's always reminding him of what a dumb shit he really is and how her mother wanted her to marry some other poor schmuck.
Tram baby tram. I was kind enough to suggest to people that the tram only has one stop in each direction when they looked confused. I'm a real sweetie like that.

So, go back to work and figure out what you'll do for lunch. I need to freshen up for the doctor's office.

No good deed goes unpunished

A dog is never more serious than when food is involved...or when there's a rabbit to chase.

City's trying to hang me again. You become a marked man after you basically tell the HR girl to go... Some idjit on one of those bullshit citizen commissions (Commission To Understand Sarah Palin Interviews) told another City employee that he had a bad experience with me. This happened over a year ago and as I remember it the guy was a total prick. Mind you, I only talked to the guy once on the phone and I gave him much more than the allotted time to get his $2100 worth of diseased elm trees removed.

Now I need to send out 50 customer service evaluation cards to show what a wonderful human being I am. Card #1 goes to Beverly on 64th and Logan. We removed a split elm tree in Beverly's yard and she's happy. She's a little spacey which is cool. After we cleaned up the stump grinding yesterday she left a v-mail on my phone thanking me for the gift of black dirt. Like I say...Postcard #1.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I don't need you to tell me I swear too much. I know it.

Leave the porch light on tonight

Jacob Wetterling was abducted 19 years ago today. At times, it's an evil fucking world.

Just shut it

I'm going to the f-ing doctor tomorrow to have my knee looked at so that those who keep hounding me to go to the doctor will shut their yappers. Mrs knows better than to hound me which makes her the greatest living human. Of course I'll need to take the whole day off to prepare for my appointment. I bet they'll weigh me so I'll be sure not to take my heavy purse.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Fancy schpantz

Mrs and I shopped at Kaplan Brothers yesterday for some technical bike clothing made by Carhartt and Dickies. I passed on the Elmer Fudd hat. It seemed cold this morning. I think I need to wear the knee warmers under my schpantz even when it's as warm as 35.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I rode 47 miles over the last 2 days. On at least 3 occasions speeds exceeded 13 mph. I rode both days just bumping along looking at leaves, down a few alleys, some sidewalk riding like my Mexican brothers and 2 coffee shop stops with Mrs. I never rode farther than 10 miles at a crack. I could take you with but the first time you asked where we were going I'd pistol whip the shit out of you. See, anger management works.
Through the magic of e-mail I may have a few more readers as of today. Hey, the motherfucker is no good without readers. Remember, there is no reason for you to comment. This is the greatest time of my life...and it only took 50 years to get here.

We have a question in the balcony

Who the fuck is Bob Sumada? Any ideas? Skibby? Sickboy? Love Chunks?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Send in the clowns

I brought this tree home from work in my bosses old shitbox mini van about 13 years ago. It had one big root we called the elephant tusk and have always referred to it as the elephant tusk maple. I took the picture from my asshole neighbor's yard.

Blogging: I just got tired of the other blog. I'm never going to have a stat counter on this one. No links. Just a place to fuck around. I think my wife learns some stuff about me from the stuff I write. I really should completely dump the other blog but I don't want to lose the "domain" name. Some other jerk off with a moped might take over Lunatic Biker and that would just be wrong.

Bike racing: I bet I have too much fun out there for most roadies. But when you have a group who remembers the 1996 Raspberry Festival Crit and who made what move then what the fuck can you expect? I'll bike race again but after my knee gets better.

My knee: Hard to say. My doctor wouldn't know shit either without scoping it. It's sore and it feels sometimes like it's going to give out and there are times when a shot of sharp pain goes through it. But it doesn't hurt like a motherfucker at night when I'm in bed like the other times I tore it up. Times when the weight of a sheet brought on excruciating pain.

That's all you get. Rosenberg, go piss off Frye or Smithers again. I really love that shit. You can't piss me off. I'll just drive to your house and kick you in your man-gina.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Mrs

One of my favorite pictures of my wife taken on her birthday 3 years ago I think. She's a good girl. She never pouts or makes you buy her something just because you bought something. Not a phone girl so you don't get a call every time she has an idea. I know I'm lucky because I see how other women are.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm not new at this. I just ditched my other blog that I had for almost 4 years. I got tired of posting as a duty. I never thought the thing would be as popular as it was. I didn't delete it.