Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Oh sure, it's so easy to love the All American boy Joe Mauer but you need a set of balls to love Big Z.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

So I hear that you may be required to answer some hypothetical questions at job interviews these days. Hmmmmm...

If you knew your co-worker had been making copies for his fantasy football league and not paying for said copies, would you?

A. Report them to management

B. Call the FBI

C. Straddle your ass on the copier and give a copy of your fat ass to co-worker in question.

D. Tell your co-worker that his/her team sucks and that the draft parties at the Wroblewski's violated every legal and moral standard you can think of.

E. Go update your Facebook status for the 50th f-ing time.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Bring me everyone who's seen the Sound Of Music more than three times!

Mrs was at her quotable best when she weighed in on the possible nurses strike. According to Madame: 'The hospitals are going to shake the blankets out good this time'. And then there's: 'Some of these old dogs don't see themselves as replaceable'.

The highlight of Saturday was a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.

The highlight of Sunday was Mrs's's's's award winning meat loaf.

I keep this blog going to annoy Rosenberg.

Make someone feel better about themselves today. It's harder to do than slighting people.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Boy that Lawrence Taylor has had an interesting life.

I'm watching the soccer. It beats the shit out of watching The View.

I did 10 solid minutes of yard work yesterday.

The black dog is adapting nicely to going into her kennel.

I have ridden my fleet of bicycles 1700 miles so far this year which is not all that much.

Whoever comes here from Chicago next (PW?) should bring a vehicle big enough to take 2 bikes home.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Yeah sure, socks

I don't give a shit about Tony Hayward's comments concerning this Gulf oil spill. We're a nation of nitpickers looking for something to pounce on. How about we figure out just how much oil is leaking for starters.

If Fleet Farm isn't the greatest store on Earth then it's close.

Nope, I do not look like your typical cyclist. That's why Prince Fielder is one of my favorite professional athletes.

My father died when I was 8. Happy fathers Day to all of the men both living and deceased who filled his shoes over the last 44 years.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I got this one from Bike Shop Girl who covers some great topics. You see, my car is responsible for dead and dying pelicans in the Gulf. No, not my car specifically, Einstein, but you get the message. As far as I know, none of my bikes are responsible for any environmental disasters.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I didn't want to get a kennel for the puppy but she's destroying the couch cushions. Sassy has to be hog tied to get her in the kennel. Snowy Bear is a different story. She has trouble turning around in the damn thing. This picture is pretty cool because of the red devil eyes. Snowy Bear will haunt the dreams of hipsters and punk-ass roadies...

Monday, June 14, 2010

Let's hear it for Johnny Boy who is being taken out for lunch today to celebrate 40 years at Xerox. Do you have any idea of how many office supplies I could steal in 40 years. I remember your first company car. What a shitbox. Enjoy lunch and make your mother proud by taking a shitload of crackers home from the restaurant.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

What the fck is skipe/skype?

Did they ever finish that Big Dig project in Boston?

I tried to send Senator Al Franken a message through his web page about the war in Afghanistan but when I hit the submit button an error message came back. I'll send him a postcard instead. Are we really still fighting Bush's War on Terror? I'd like to support the troops by bringing them all home.

Some of the Flyers fans on Facebook were talking about how much classier they were compared to Blackhawks fans. Are these the same people who booed Santa Claus and cheered a motionless Michael Irvin when he had his career ending injury against the Eagles?

We had our neighborhood garage sales yesterday and I walked around for a couple of hours with the lovely Mrs. Then it started raining. The first drop of rain that hits you is God's fault and every one thereafter is yours.

I've eliminated almost everything which involves a time deadline. I see the stress you're under even on the weekends. Don't you see what they make you give?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Fridays

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You people from Wisconsin who come here from Cullen's blog need to get the hell out of here. I'm kidding. I love Wisconsin. They know how to party.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Worth the wait

Let's see. First off, we say Happy 5th Birthday to our great-niece Aimee.

We celebrate our hometown team's victory in the Stanley Cup. The rest of my life I'll remember Patrick Kane skating away from the Flyer's goal as the only person in the building who knew it was a goal.

Finally, as of today I haven't had a drink for 5 years.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

George Wallace was shot in an assassination attempt on May 15, 1972, which was the day we moved to Missouri. How did he cheat death?

Natalie Wood died in a drowning accident on November 29, 1981. Debbie and I heard the news on the way back from Ma's hobby farm in Warsaw, Missouri.

John Belushi died from a drug overdose on March 5, 1982 while Debbie and I were in Minneapolis renting an apartment for our move from Chicago.

Princess Diana died on August 31, 1997. My buddy Larry broke the news to me when he picked me up for baseball game/horse racing trip to Chicago.

John Kennedy Jr or John John was killed in a plane crash on July 16, 1999 while Mrs and I were in Wisconsin at the cabin we often rented.

Senator Paul Wellstone was killed in a plane crash on October 25, 2002. Larry and I got the news at the Doubletree Hotel's bar from CNN. He and I drove to Chicago for the Breeders Cup.

Oh hell sporty, people are dying every day.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Cat 6 State Fair Crit Series starts tonight and you should go race your little bike. I may show up even though I'd have to possibly speak to roadies. I could bring my buddy and lawn agent Scanny as a bodyguard but I really don't feel like bailing Scanny out of jail tonight.

Mrs went out with her old lady coworker/girlfriends on Sunday and all they wanted to do was talk about work which Mrs had no interest in. So, I took her shopping yesterday to make up for it. I never wanted to talk about work when I was at work. Amongst many fine qualities my brother John never talks about work when I see him which is nice. Neither do his sons. Winner winner chicken dinner.

Jeez, these Hawks games are stressing me out. Much more than the day I had to meet with my bosses the day I got laid off at the City. That was the meeting in which I took a call from Rosenberg.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Fridays

Mayor RT Rybak stopped in with his bike at Midtown this morning. He wants a tuneup. A tuneup!?! Just ride the MF. You can tell that Minneapolis is a small town because Mayor Rybak didn't have a bodyguard with him. Now Richie for sure would have had some muscle with him and Da Mayor...well, let's just say he was well protected. On this topic, my mother-in-law once walked straight into Jesse Jackson at Midway airport and one of Reverend Jackson's bodyguards gently steered her into the clear.

As you can well imagine Sassy is on Miss Debbie's shitlist over the couch incident. This was done in an hour while I rode my bike on a short loop.

The pitcher from Detroit who didn't have a meltdown when the umpire missed the call should be the role model for baseball players everywhere. I never understand why parents make complete asses of themselves at little league games. Or beer league softball players with the umps at their games. I would help coach little league baseball but I wouldn't last because I'd go up in the stands and stick my foot up some whiner's ass.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Not bad for an hour's work.

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Yeah, I know, we need a kennel...
We're living it up here baby, don't you worry.

Hawks took me to the brink of another heart attack last night. Watching these games reminds me of the tension during the playoff runs of the Bulls in the 90's. Don't get me wrong, I love it.

I wanted to post a photo of a vintage Detroit Tigers usher's cap off Ebay but my skills on that kind of thing are lacking. It can be yours for a mere 800 bucks.

In my daydreams I'm living back in Chicago near the Polish Museum and hanging out on Milwaukee Avenue. I ride to downtown almost every day and yes I'm armed. God, would I love to be walking the Snowy Bear down Michigan Avenue right now.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Super Rookie texted me the words HEART ATTACK with 19 seconds left in the Hawks game last night. He beat me to the punch by a couple of seconds on that one.

I love baseball but the length of the games is ridiculous. Let's start by making the pitcher throw the ball more frequently than every 30 seconds and stop the hitters from calling time after every pitch.

Is this Bike To Work Week? I'm not going to any of the events. Just wondering.

This oil slick just goes from bad to worse.

Time to vacuum.