Fridays

Sober 6 years today. Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.

Red, I think I need a break from those tweakers in the morning. You know, somewhere where the attention span is longer than 6 seconds.

Gingrich's campaign is falling apart and Mr Personality (Pawlenty) is going to reap the benefits. Who said anything about a flyover state with a huge inferiority complex?

I may not subject Mrs to that bicycling crowd at Skibby's Going Away Party.

Of course it's a Democrat sending photos of his c*ck around. Republicans send photos of Uncle Ronny in the hopes that the girls will throw him a pity fck.

Thank you for serving your country in the military, Sgt. Campo. I'm sorry it cost you your life.

No roadies were harmed on Bike To Work Day

The Banjo boys saved me a donut which was extra delicious and very much needed after waffles at Midtown and a muffin from the Balance Fitness people who had a spot at Lyndale and the Greenway. Gene-O gave me a One On One coffee mug and Little Stevie from Freewheel West Bank let me fondle his cardigan sweater that would have made Ward Cleaver proud.

Would you wear that shoe?

Ma never shied away from a confrontation if she thought you were trying to cheat her.

In November of 2002 Ma pre-arranged her burial stuff which included a casket made of egg cartons, a cemetery plot and a grave marker. Her social worker from the County went with Ma on this. She was another one you better not mess with.

Ma died at 11;30 am on December 6, 2008. She was buried at Saint Mary's Cemetery a couple days later. No wake and I paid the 200 bucks for the graveside service. I wanted to be there. It was cold and I told the spiritual advisor from the hospice (Father Pat, wink, wink) to show up with a stocking cap on or one would be issued.

But...Ma's grave marker still hasn't had the year of death engraved on it and being the procrastinating bastard that I am it took me over two years to investigate.

I stopped by the funeral home in April of this year and the nice girl at the desk pulled their file and then wrote down my name and number and told me she would investigate.

Last week I stopped by the funeral home again to see if the gal was making any headway and she wasn't there but there were two guys who looked like morticians which they were. Same story, write my shit down and tell me they were on the case.

Last Saturday we received a letter from the cemetery saying they would assist us on the matter for the low low price of $150.

I dug through the funeral paperwork yet again to find that Ma had purchased the headstone through the cemetery.

Enter the dragon. At Mrs request I relinquish the matter to her. I'm just not as diplomatic with slapdicks as I used to be.

Mrs calls the cemetery and the woman eventually says in a quite snippy tone: 'Well if you have the paperwork'.

The engraving will be done or I'll just take care of the headstone myself with some glue and macaroni shells. You really need to spray paint the macaroni shells gold before you put "2008" on the headstone.

Mrs heard the thunder this morning and assumed it was raining so she elected to stay in bed till 5:03 am. Talk about sleeping in. So, I drove her to work which is just as good because it's f-ing hot out there and will be even worse by 3 pm.

I dumped off the car and took the train to my biweekly breakfast with the Plumber. We've done Keys a couple of times and I even got to take the train with my old buddy Sickboy. In case you're scoring at home I had an omelet and the Plumber had pancakes and sausage with an over easy egg which the cook apparently didn't commit yolk murder.

I'm critiquing Craigs List bikes for one of my friends and one thing is clear. These people think their shitty used bikes are worth real money.

Fridays

I was having trouble with Firefox and Internet Explorer was slower than shit so I tried Opera which was pretty good for 12 hours before it turned to total dogshit. There's something in there that Webroot and Malwarebytes and SuperAntiSpyware don't find and eliminate but it's beyond my minimal computer knowledge.

Don't worry Twinkies fans, there's still 35 more games with the Royals on the schedule. Here's the stats of a pitcher who was almost as good as Francisco Liriano.


I planted wildflower seeds in some of the bald spots in our lawn. Not sure if those are wildflowers coming up or just weeds.

I escorted and I took the Assassin for her walk and I watered the flowers and soon I will start a load of laundry and then it's time for baseball. Smile every once and a while someone will think you're alive.