Tom Boerwinkle - RIP

I didn't know Tom had died until I did a little research. We should have won a championship with that team.

I wasn't aware that it snowed in Minnesota in April

Double nickels, beeotch!

Let's hear it first for Uncle Paul who came through with the Sun Times yet again. You motherfuckers aren't going to think you're so cute when I leave my half of the money to him. He also enclosed a box of Girl Scout cookies that I'm sure were bought under duress. Thanks again, Uncle Paul. You're a mensch of the highest order.

Turned 55 yesterday. Hold the applause, please.

 

This is my birthday present that I picked out for my birthday. It's a game issued Penguins jersey that I bought from a jersey dealer in Pittsburgh who is also a mortician. Can't beat that shit. Game issued means they prepared it for the guy but for some reason he never used it.

 

 

I turned 55 yesterday. I can draw my City pension at 55. According to the letter my retirement association sent me: 'The effective date of your benefit will be 05/01/2013. PERA will pay you an estimated benefit within approximately two weeks following your effective date of retirement, or approximately two weeks of the date your application is received in our office, whichever is later.'

 

I love it when you double-talk me.

 



Fridays

It's ok, there are a couple of months with half this much snow on the ground. That's the recycling truck over in the next alley. I wouldn't want that job for a million dollars a year. Climbing over all those snow piles and shit like that.

Fridays, and then some

The Catholics don't want me to eat meat of Fridays during Lent. Yeah, ok. I like my chances of getting into heaven having eaten sausage on Lenten Fridays as opposed to some of those priests. And all of the nuns I had in Catholic school.

Fridays