Fridays

I saw you come into Midtown and put air in your tires. I would have come over but you seemed to be deeply entrenched in the Matrix. Me, I'm like deep, deep undercover. The more stress I see in people's faces the more I relax.

So girls, all the commercials make you look like geniuses and men look like dumbshits. Hmmmm?

I gotta share this. What's the difference between an accountant and an actuary? An accountant looks at YOUR shoes when he talks to you. That's a good one, Sam.

This just in. Sassy does not like any other humans to be out when she goes out for her late night pee pee break. That would include those in motor vehicles.

Will be chasing (4 houses worth) the UPS driver down to see if my jersey I ordered this week is on the truck.

As John Goodman says in Barton Fink - 'I'm fat, that's MY cross to bear.'