Wednesday, March 5, 2014
I wouldn't say I'm back as much as I'd say I'm back for today if you're pickin' up what I'm layin' down.
Five years ago this Sunday the City of Richfield laid me off. Fuck them, I never liked them in the first place.
Five years without a job. Five years without a job is no big deal. Somehow I survived 29 years in the workplace and that's a big fucking deal, skippy. If I had to do it all over again I would have stolen a shitload of rock salt for my alley.
What do I do all day? No, what do you do all day besides fucking off on Facebook, Twitter and Craigslist? I baked a cake using out of date cake mix and balanced it off by using out of date canned frosting. That's a whole afternoon's worth of fun.
A writer writes and what I do isn't writing even if I sit here in my little newspaperman's fedora and hunt and peck the shit out of the keyboard.
Soon we'll stop shoveling snow and start bitching about mowing the lawn. My push mower needs sharpening but after a little checking I found out that buying a new push mower would cost the same as getting the old one sharpened.
Remember to shower after scanning Craigslist.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
I can't find Snakecroth's new blog and I need to read about his pursuit of a yeti. That, and all his stories about bangin' cocktail waitresses, two at a time.
Why haven't I been blogging? Cuz I'm as lazy as the day is long.
Does Walter White have a douchephone? Fuck no, he has a flip phone so get over yourself and stop showing me pictures of kids. Pictures of dogs are always ok. By the by, I myself purchased a new flip phone from Best Buy. The kid had to dig deep in the storeroom.
I look like an idjit riding a tandem with nobody on the back but you look perfectly natural walking down the street staring at a fucking cell phone. You can't do that too much in Chicago because some motherfucker will hit you in the head with a brick and take it away.
I enjoyed a solid 10 minutes of yard work this morning.
A half hearted attempt is underway to ride 3371 miles this year so I can eclipse my recent low total from 2011 when I got my new recliner.
Is it too early to start talking about Almonzo?