Friday, April 29, 2011


Of course I watched the Royal Wedding. The dress was beautiful. The crowds were enthusiastic and the weather was great. Had to leave before the official kiss but that's the way it goes.

It's a nice day so I'm going to ride my bike at least a quarter of a mile farther than normal.

What if all these other guys turn into Ryan Leaf and Christian Ponder is an NFL success story. It's just a game. No wait, it's a 9 billion dollar industry.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

We're not sure where we're watching the Royal Wedding.

With the Blackhawks out of the playoffs we now root for the Boston Bruins.

Baseball on tv at 11:30 this morning. Giants at Pittsburgh.Link

Yeah yeah sure sure I rode a bike in the light rain this morning and now I want a medal.

Too much of life can be explained here.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Rainy Tuesday

Dash cam on Houston light rail vehicles. Love the music too.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Yeah, the colors clash. You can piss on my grave for that too.

Hope you had a good Easter and were politically incorrect when you passed the ham. I took the Assassin out at 7 am and only changed jammies as the laundry basket was passing me. Yes, I walked the young lady in cut-off Zubaz just in time for some little bitch riding down 42nd Street to roll her eyes at my outfit. Fuck you and your grade school rubber boots, honey.

Breakfast with the Plumber today was smashing as always. Today is National Plumbers Day. Sure, everybody makes fun of the crack until it's time for the dirty work.

Blackhawks force a Game 7 with Vancouver. Do I hate those Sedin brothers? Let me count the ways.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The ham for Easter is smoked, homeboy.

Mrs and I just finished watching the first season of Dexter. We love it.

Just saw our elderly neighbor getting picked up by Metro Mobility on one of the Assassin's many walks and she said I look thinner. So there.

90 victories wins the American League Central.

Law enforcement agencies in Minnesota are cracking down on 'distracted drivers'. So keep your douchephone well hidden and avoid shaving your legs in the car as well as doing any crafts while driving. If you get caught just tell them that All The Way Ray said it was ok to drive with a blanket over your head.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

You know it's like when people get all sentimental about going to the cabin with the lake and the loon shit and the mosquito bites. I get that way when I'm in downtown Chicago when the L goes overhead. To each his own, baby, to each his own.

Monday, April 18, 2011

I didn't see the No Parking sign for sweeping which was about 75 feet down the street. This is my 3rd parking ticket in 29 years of living in Minneapolis. At least the car didn't get towed.

Aah, fuck that ticket. We've got a baseball game on right now (Boston vs. Toronto). My brother from Chicago is in Minneapolis on business so he brought the donuts (America Runs On Dunkin, B) and the Sunday Sun Times so life is good.

Friday, April 15, 2011


I ran into a gal I played softball with at Midtown last summer and she said she had a photo of me from back then. I think it's 1983. She left it with Aaron yesterday. I traded that jersey to the dealer I bought it from for a Philadelphia Flyers jersey that I still have. Now I need another brown Padres jersey. I bet that guy with those sexy shorts on got a lot of chicks.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Oh I've been to Opus

Wait, I'm getting a text message from Tuffy.
Back when Skibby was just a fucking roadie.
The great Olive looking good as always.
If you had this much personality I would buy you the kilt.
What's the story on this kid? Doctor? Lawyer? Jail?
If Sobol appeared at my front door I would give him a big hug and a granola bar.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I saw my ink blot doctor this morning but I didn't wear the sweater dress I bought for last Halloween. I always make sure I say hi to all of the other crazies in the waiting room. I told him I'd appreciate a script of Oxy but he just wouldn't do it.

A stop at the Apple Store at Southdale yielded a new set of earbuds. I have one of the Ipod Shuffles with the volume/change song on the cord. I hope the guy who thought that up gets Herpes. This set of earbuds will die just like the other ones just like your douchephone that's made to last 2 years.

Let's not forget 37 dollars worth of gas and 52 bucks for groceries at Target. Mrs gave me 50 smackers so I had to panhandle for the difference. On the way home I ran into the Richfield boys and shot the shit with them. I miss the boys but not those asshole residents or the fucked up City Hall management jerks.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I now pronounce the bathroom as hospital clean.

A light vacuuming was also accomplished. I was called away to referee a dog wrestling match. The Assassin is trying to take over the title of Queen Bee but the Snowy Bear has been forced to use some of the dirty tricks she learned from Wu.

With all of the decent dessert items gone we will be reduced to consuming Girl Scout cookies.

I hear quiet in the living room as the girls have sufficiently wrestled the piss out of each other and are waiting for Texas @ Detroit on MLB Extra Innings.

Yes Red, the spike in petrol prices will bring out shitloads of new commuters but not Easy Eddie because he's an absolute pimp daddy in that Indiana Jones chapeau.

Sometimes people ask me if my wife is angry that I don't have a job. You know, I'm too good of a GD cuddler to just kick to the curb.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Blackhawks make the playoffs because the Minnesota Wild knock the Dallas Stars out of the playoffs. Thank you, Wild. Now the Hawks get to play the Vancouver Canucks who had the best record in the entire league.

Big Sam's Club run on Saturday for the staples and some skivvy shorts. Boxer briefs, ok sporty.

The Plumber and I had our bi-weekly breakfast at the Bad Waitress. Not bad at all.

We haven't got any chicks reading this thing which is ok, I guess. Even Mrs has stopped reading this crap which doesn't surprise me.

Friday, April 8, 2011


The audio is shitty so you'll need to turn the speakers up. This is outstanding.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Look familiar, Johnny Boy? This guy is the main man from one of the sports uniform blogs I frequent. He bought it on E-bay.

Political correctness can blow me.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

This may be the first time I put a jersey and sweatpants over my jammies which consist of a t-shirt and cut off Zubaz (thanks Kruse) to drive the multi-talented Mrs to work. We get our taxes done in historic Saint Anthony this afternoon so no biking today.

I did stop at Midtown for a hot cup and some conversation. I offered some women a dollar to take the toe clips off her Rockhopper but she said she needs them. I think that track racers should be the only cyclists to use toe clips but then WTF do I know. I don't like them for myself because my feet are big enough to stomp out 3 alarm fires.

Let's not leave out the grocery shopping where I only had 3 items on my list and had to run back because I almost forgot 1 item. Don't put the milk in the bag, homeboy.

I filled up the bird feeder and briefed my neighbor down the block and picked up part of a car bumper his neighbor conveniently moved two houses down instead of just walking it to the garbage.

Noon baseball, son, noon baseball!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Yeah Red, Daddy Warbucks drops us like dog shit when there's a new guy to indoctrinate.

College basketball ended last night. Mid-November seems like a long ways away.

Rode my Salsa for the first time in 5 months today when I escorted Mrs to work. Lots of people out commuting which was good to see. My, aren't we speedy.

A jersey collector never assumes that you're a fan of a team's jersey you're wearing.

Cubs come on at 1 and there's leftover pork roast for lunch. That's about all I need for a Tuesday.

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Snowy Bear is playing with my Buzz Lightyear that my buddy Marlie gave me for my birthday which was last Saturday. Her mother gave me her old laptop computer which WAS NOT preloaded with porn.

Winter doesn't end until all of the snow melts and the heat stops coming on.

Looks like I'm going to be 1 for 4 on the 30 days of biking.