Monday, February 25, 2013

I rode a bike for the first time in almost a month and it seemed to be more like exercise than I remember. Of course I rode 11 miles instead of the 1.23 that I planned to ride. But now it's lunch time and the refridgerator is flush with leftovers.

Sacha Baron Cohen Spills Ashes on Ryan Seacrest - 2012 Oscars

Friday, February 22, 2013


I think we can still use it for French toast.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Who's Beyonce'?

The former Dixon, Illinois, Comptroller, is going to jail for embezzling 53 million dollars from the town's kitty and will be doing a 20 year bit in prison. Hey bucky, it isn't like you haven't taken a few work pens home with you. The US Marshall's are going to auction off the goodies she bought with her extra income including some jewelry. OK, quite a bit of jewelry. They are also selling her vast stable of horses including some frozen semen in case some of you kinky motherfuckers are interested.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Just think how life would be if meteors blowing up in the atmosphere were more of a daily occurrence. One minute you're walking the dog and the next minute you're hiding under your neighbor's car. Oh fuck, I've got a good jersey on and here comes a fucking meteor. You may stop sweating the small stuff, huh sporty?

Only money is stopping me from doing it up right on May 1st which happens to be my official retirement day. Minnesota Public Retirement Fund will deposit the money in my account shortly thereafter because banks and other financial institutions make a killing off escrow accounts.

I would start the retirement party by having the guy who belts out the national anthem at Blackhawks games do the honors in my front yard.

I hope Snakecrotch finds Sasquatch. I really do.

I love all 12 of you who are reading this shit. Now go back to fucking work. Do something, even if it's wrong.

Jamal Crawford Offense Highlights 2012/2013

Monday, February 11, 2013

I'm telling you, look at the GD pipes! And you know what else? I'd take water boarding over eating a fucking radish or a beet or whatever vegetable that is. Did Harry Caray give Ma those glasses?

12 page views on Friday so fuck me, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

We had snow yesterday. Not snow like Boston but then it's not going to be 45 degrees here two days later. The Einsteins at the City of Minneapolis called a Snow Emergency so that means all of my Somali brothers will be getting their cars towed. Our alley was also given a lick and a promise which is pretty good. I still shoveled a shitload of soupy salt laden shit from the 42nd Street end of the alley because there's no such thing as coordination of alley and street plowing.

That's all for you, bucky. Dig that hole, white boy.

Friday, February 8, 2013


The shit's gonna hit the fan in Boston because of this big winter storm and I can't wait for some good sound bites from their blubbering mayor. He does Harry Caray proud. The liquor stores are going to get cleaned out today.

Who knew that peanut butter on a cheeseburger would be so awesome. In honor of Governor Christie I threw a fried egg on for good measure.

That's my step-father's father's fedora style hat. It's a Dobbs and it's 50 years old if it's a day. I took the picture with the camera that's on the computer my friend Melissa gave me. I think I killed my old computer. Sure, it's a deer in the headlights look but I was trying to figure out if the camera was working.

Any east coasters wanting to be famous forever should send snow storm pictures and all pictures of their dog to

Thursday, February 7, 2013

As you can see, we don't get excited about too much when Mrs is at work.

Shit, shower and shave! Kinda rolls off your tongue. I even buzzed up my dome with the clippers.

I'd visit Doom at the bike shop in Saint Cloud if that train that runs most of the way up there was worth a shit.

So you're going to protect your home with a hand gun, shotgun, slingshot? Well, what if the intruder is armed? Feeling lucky, punk? Do you have kids? Keep your piece locked and cocked, just click the safety off and you're ready to miss everything you shoot at? This ain't the gun range, sweetheart. This is real time with a shitload of adrenaline. I'm not anti-gun but if we're going to arm one moron we better arm them all or it's not good sport.

More tomorrow, maybe...

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

That's Nathan our tree contractor with the 4100 pound piece of the tree his crew removed from the side of our house. It's ok, they used a crane and didn't drop anything.

I never would have guessed that Snakecrotch would throw in the old blogging towel. What's this world coming to?

Doom came in 4th in the Arrowhead 135 and only changed underwear twice.

A shower is a possibility today.

I've got all my paperwork in and my retirement money starts flowing in some time in May. Don't try to pin the government on the exact date. I'm celebrating on May 1st. Try and stop me.

I rode my bike with one of Uncle Lanny's pub crawls a couple of weeks ago. I drank Coke, sporty. I'm not looking to have Mrs foot up my ass. Anyway, there appears to be quite a few craft beers out there. Almost too many to choose from unless you're an alcoholic in which case you should be drinking the cheap shit.

Don't call it a comeback. Somebody's gotta pick up the slack. Somebody who doesn't give a fuck. Somebody like me.