Wednesday, August 31, 2011

For our Johnny Boy, do da do da...

Experimental pepper plant that the Assassin once tried to attack.
Oh no, there's a tomato plant in there somewhere.
The soil for this one is 5% dirt, 5% paint chips and 90% sunflower seed shells because it's right under my winter bird feeder.

Monday, August 29, 2011

A true lay around weekend was enjoyed by all of us. It's cool because when most people are running from heated house to heated car to work of shopping I'll still be spending an hour outside with Sassy.

Soon you will be receiving a photo of my experimental green pepper plant. Try to contain your excitement.

Ebay can be pretty weird for a jersey collector when you factor in the China knockoffs and the reputable dealers who sell the stuff for more than the league sites charge. To make it truly interesting you have the students who pump up the price for some guy's used laundry (jerseys).

Mrs and I have started watching Mad TV through Netflix because I haven't been up at 10:30 pm since the Carter Administration.

I have earned $5.41 from the ads on my blog. Sassy needs a new pair of shoes.

Due to Hurricane Irene I will not be attending the fair today.

Friday, August 26, 2011


It's dealing with assholes like me that keep HR people up at night. No, not you people in Minnesota. I'm talking about normal people. I wonder how much it would cost to get this memo done as a tattoo.

The breakfast of champions at the Farmers Market is always a wonderful thing. I love the smell of Italian sausage in the morning. It smells of...of...victory.

So the kid makes cupcakes once a week and I'm supposed to drop everything when I get 10 minutes notice. Here's a thought. Drive the kid to my house and I'll buy them for a buck a piece and give her a tasteless bike sticker.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

See, I told you we've gone to the fair. Shit, now I want a corn dog.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

SF Giants Driving Test Commercial 2011

Here's your GD dinner, convict.

My tomatoes need at least another month of summer and then I'd have something.

I tip the waitress 20 % or more considering rounding. Some of them don't deserve 20 %. It is hard to give a whole lot to a guy who filled a cup with coffee at Starbucks. Now if I have a foo foo coffee with that nice foam I always tip at least 50 cents.

Not going to the Fair. We're on an every five years plan. Let's make it 10.

It breaks my heart to see traffic back up on 94 because of the construction. I'm picking up on the sarcasm. That's good, because I'm laying it on awfully thick.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Mad TV - Blades

I have yet to reap the benefits of being an AARP's member.

If you've got a hankerin' for some bad ass samurai sword fighting you better rent 13 Assassins.

A guy who didn't go to high school with me said Good Morning today.

My favorite places to people watch are downtown and the airport. You get your office girls downtown and the airport is always good for husband and wife battles.

Does anybody know if I can make a few bucks from Google Ads on this piece of shit? Listen homeboy, I can always camp outside your f-ing doorstep with a cup and a sign that says: NEED MONEY FOR JERSEYS AND FOUR DOLLAR CUPCAKES.

Honestly, I think a $3.50 cupcake should be large enough to be delivered with heavy equipment.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Hey does that dog want a Snausage?

Mrs was quite surprised to find a Minneapolis policeman coming out into the alley as she was closing the garage door this morning at 0545. It's ok. He had his K-9 German Shepherd with who just happened to be snarling at Mrs. The cop went on with his business without telling Mrs whether there was a dangerous fugitive nearby or that all the pretty boys work at the Fire Department.

There were cops on several corners and for some reason the Cupcake roving truck was also positioned strategically on 42nd Street. Since all those glory hound news guys don't hit the streets until 9 I had no way of knowing what the story was. So, I hit the precinct office at Lake and Minnehaha and got the scoop from the cop at the front desk who was helpful but didn't have any free stickers.

The fugitive was being pursued after a car chase that ultimately led him to his Carl Lewis imitation. He probably ran when he found all of the pre-sets to be country music and conservative talk radio.

Wow! Life in the big city!

Friday, August 12, 2011


Big chicken feed at the Cane's on Washington Avenue by the U. Noon start. Representatives from the five families will be attending.

The Kogswell is currently being test ridden for the possibility of a sale. The minimum test ride period will be one year. Maximum test ride period not to exceed 20 years.

Mrs was driven to work. I hate to take a chance on rain. I've ridden a bike in the rain before. I wouldn't call it a "character building" experience.

I have to find out who won So You Think You Can Dance. It was an early to bed night at the Wroblewski residence.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Not sent with douchephone.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Sometimes it's just nice to walk my bike on the sidewalk downtown and people watch and enjoy the flowers in the planters and such. I may have to work again. Shovel shit with a spoon or worse. But, the last two and a half years of my life can never be taken away from me.

Monday, August 8, 2011

That's my pillow on the left in case you were wondering.

The weekend was flush with activities but the headliner had to be the purchase of new wash cloths.

There were quite a few months during the Vietnam War that combat deaths exceeded the 500 mark. Why bring up Vietnam? Because we were there a long time and then one day we just left.

The guy from Minnesota who got caught selling game worn jersey that weren't game worn or even authentic for that matter will appear in front of a firing squad with yours truly as the point man.

Take a deep breath. Smoke some pot if you need to but try to refrain from dabbling with your 401k.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Fridays - All Hail The Johnny Boy!

Happy birthday from the whole damn bunch of us. Some day when my ship comes in, I'll have an office at the Polish Museum. Why, I'll move Paderewski's piano to the basement and set up shop there. 'Go ahead you horse's ass, compare your hand to Paderewki's'.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

By golly I mowed the lawn. It only took about 40 pulls for my mower to start but then we went like hell.

I would have to say my first tomato from the garden was pretty so-so.

My after coffee ride took me into St Louis Park and Linden Hills which is a favorite hangout of the Rosenberg boys. I even had some old fool try to hold court at Lake Harriet. He couldn't hang. Don't judge a book by its cover.

I miss the days of the Tweet-Up Lunch. I think Smithers got a real job and spends most of the day on the phone with the head office in Helsinki. Maybe I can get Aaron to spearhead the luncheon.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I took out the garbage. I'm a man.

As a true mensch I also cleaned the chain on Mrs bike and aired up her tires.

I look at Congress as more of a reflection of the people they represent than a band of idjits.

I'm passing on the National Night Out festivities on our block. It's pea soup humid and there's mosquitoes the size of B-52's out there. I talk to everyone when I see them in their yard and everybody with a dog knows the Assassin.

42nd Street is getting what's called a mill and overlay which is a two year band aid.

Monday, August 1, 2011

It's nice to drive through Richfield and see diseased elm trees and know that I'm no longer the guy who has to mark them. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
There could be a few of you who need a little moral boost at this hour. By now you've figured out that it's Monday and symbolically the rain is washing away your teen spirit from the weekend. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, sporty, and remember that the moments you spend here represents time that they have lost control of your attention span.

Keep things in perspective and be happy in the fact that you're not in a place where assholes are dreaming up ways to kill you with an explosive and a bucket of nails.