Monday, August 31, 2009

I know what Walter would do

The City of Minneapolis sent us a notice that our lilacs hung out too far into the alley so Mrs and I hacked the shit out of them yesterday. I think one of the neighbors called because that's what old lady widows do. That and she was pissed that the dogs took a squirt on her crab grass and other assorted weeds. The only thing that kinda chaps my hide is that the City basically gave us 6 days to complete the job. When I used to write shit like this up I gave you 10 days and re-inspected in 2 months and then gave you another couple of weeks.

I'd like to write more but the refrigerator is calling me out like a gunfighter.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I have a question for Mrs

Ok, so that last food drive when the grade school kids collected the bags off the front steps one of the items in the bag was mustard. Mustard? There's an item to build a meal around.

Last Dog of the season and I pulled out all the stops to get under 19 minutes. I wore a tighter fitting jersey, shaved one leg, wore the aero shoe covers and ate a package of Shot Bloks a half hour before the race.

I was able to hold my girth in the aero position for 6.5 of the 6.8 miles and rode an 18:36 which was within 8 seconds of my personal best 2 years ago on a tropically humid night.

And now we move on to cross season...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Last Black Dog of the season. We'll do a coupon exchange after the race!

Our pal Carla gave us her seats for the dress rehearsal scrimmage at TCF Bank Stadium last Saturday. It's a great venue, it's on campus, it's outdoors (football is an outdoor sport, period) and best of all some of my tax money funded it. I'd rather pay for stadiums than road improvements so you can get out to Honey Bear Lane out in the suburbs faster.

My neighbor is still fixing my lawnmower. Making me run down the parts and telling me he's not sure it will run even after he fixes it is giving the bastard his jollies. Little does he know I don't much care. Wait, I've told him I don't care.

Last torture session this evening on Black Dog Road. I'm not looking for any specific times. I have chosen a jersey for this evening. I wish I could get the Dragger down there (without riding it there, sporty) so I could race it with Mrs and any other chicks I could talk into it.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...shit I fell asleep. Go back to work.

Friday, August 21, 2009


Mrs has a 4 day weekend so close she can taste it so I'm resting up so I can entertain the shit out of her.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

How bout a nooner?

Picture is posted for Mrs. Little Jimmy (I know it's Oliver) looks huge in Mrs arms. I bet Oliver could pick up Mrs these days.

Waiting for my laundry to finish.

Garage door guy came to fix the broken spring but didn't bring a spring so he duct taped it together.

Giants and Reds are on tv right now with at least 700 people in the stands. Game is in Cincinnati.

It's too wet to mow the lawn.

Nuff said.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

New shit has come to light.

The lawnmower is still broken although the crucial gasket has been ordered. The spring on the garage door broke last night. Waiting for garage door guy to call back. I just put in a solid 12 minutes of yard work armed with a pair of pruners and grass clippers. Alas, the garage door called back and will be here at 2ish. Most importantly, I'll be meeting a young man who once demolished 3 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in like 30 minutes today for lunch. Here comes Tuffy's hurt feelings and now you are up to speed.

Monday, August 17, 2009

When you shake what you got and girl you got a lot...

It's Monday morning, do you know where you're unemployment benefits are?

No cycling Saturday or Sunday. I'm in training for cyclocross.

I might be faster if I didn't love to eat. Aw fuck it. I was a fat kid, a fat teenager and a fat adult. Don't let that stop you Greenway commuters from getting your doors melted off.

I want to take Mike from Banjo Brothers and Tuffy the pretend school teacher out for coffee and an extended shitbag session about baseball.

Have a great day and don't sweat the small stuff because it's all small stuff.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

For Tuffy the pretend astronaut

Tuffy, this little article captures the Minnesota experience for me.

Friday, August 14, 2009


As you can see, I'm ready for casual Friday. My 3 button polo comes from Victorinox.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sasquatch make appearance at Black Dog

I put up a 19:18 which was right in the neighborhood of what I've been doing. I'm happy with it being that there were times last summer I could barely walk. One more Dog to go and I'm going to load up with Shot Blocks and Ensure so I can at least get this train under 19 minutes.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Black Dog Tonight!!!!!!!!

Come on down to Black Dog Road near the Cedar Bridge. Pay 15 bucks for the entry fee and 10 more if you don't have a license and ride your little bike as fast as you can for 7 miles. I guarantee that for 7 miles you'll forget about everything except going fast.

I'd like to get under 19 minutes. Hell, I'd like to get under 17 minutes.

Monday, August 10, 2009

There's somebody at the door. It's the kids from

I need a yellow Kill Bill Peacock Groove more than you do because I just do. This one is too small for me.

New Gopher Stadium but there was definitely this time at band camp...
From this distance I appear to be about 160 pounds.
Glad they spelled that right.

Friday, August 7, 2009


It would appear that Tuffy didn't bring the Sun Times back from Chicago.

Mrs was escorted to work before the rain started this morning so you can stop worrying about that.

There's a trade show for the local frame builders this weekend.

I have a tapeworm of epic proportions this morning and was wishing Davanni's was open when we passed by this morning.

Did I mention that Tuffy may not have brought the paper back from Chicago?

Twitter is still acting funny so I'm missing Smither's pearls of wisdom that keep me from going postal.

Our soldiers killed one of the top Al Kida (sp?) guys recently. We're still having trouble finding a 6'5" guy on dialysis.

Hmmmm, Tuffy...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

More in dire need of a bell than any white man on the planet...

I traded 'Brown' back to Hurl for the bike pictured below.
That's right gear many speeds.

I'm told I can ride this bike off road. Let's just say there won't be any insects alive when I venture back down to the river bottoms.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

For Painman and the other 3 readers.

Mrs has set up daily paper delivery. God, is she a nice girl. FU and your shitty online version of the paper.

I'm trading the Brown Bianchi B.U.S.S. back to Hurl for a Voodoo 29er. Picture on your late local news.

Today we're stumping for Koala Tree Care. Call Sean at 612-770-5309 for quality tree work.

Mother always said 'better late than never' and I'm finding out just how true that statement is.

Different model years of the Ford Explorer take up 6 of the 10 most popular clunkers being traded in.

I know a nice girl in Richfield who's counting the days until school starts.

That's quite enough of this shit. Go back to work and start planning lunch.