Friday, October 30, 2009

The wind blew in a Burger King wrapper from North Dakota

I've had a dogsitting gig the last 2 days. I got a jersey for my hard work. It's a friend but I'd let your dog out for a really cheap fee like 10 bucks a time as long as you live in the city. You'd have to lend me a key which would involve you getting over yourself. Your dog would love me. That's for sure. When the dogs return from their alien planet they'll be taking me, Mrs, Timmer and John and Carol Wroblewski back with them.
I may ride a bike today but I won't ride it far.
Halloween party out in south suburbia this evening. Pictures tomorrow.
The guy who's in charge of the donuts can't go to church on Sunday. That's in the bible.
Ok, time for that short bike ride. Eat as much candy as you can. Ride your bike to the end of the block and back. See you in church except for the Donut Guy.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

All family business gets settled here

Colonel Klink makes a stop at CRC but can't make a call and B-Rad disses me on 42nd Street. Five foot 10 and 135 pounds so maybe now we can get someone to walk Aunt Sara down to Circle K. The mumu is a little snug but a Saver's stop will hopefully yield a polka dot ensemble.

Tatters and Flanders in the same morning beats the shit out of those scary health nuts at the Seward Co-op. Sullen high school kids at the bus stop except for the kid enjoying the smoky treat. Do they still make Chesterfields? WTF?

The one man fast break is run to perfection and calendar girl would meet a worthy adversary in the painted area. Mrs Sickboy is a breath of fresh air on a beautiful fall evening when You Think You Can Dance forces one to bed early.

I think of Mother every single day and only wish I could hug her one more time.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


This is dedicated to the shitbird in the Audi who came within 8 or 10 inches of me by the hospital this morning. Soon, you will be inching home on snowy roads in rush hour traffic while Miss Debbie has a 20 minute commute on her little bicycle.

Monday, October 26, 2009

One take, Keb Mo

Droppin' shit with my African-American Mr Doctor Dre

I have no idea why it turned more yellow than orange this year. Global warming? Dry summer then snow in early October? Doctor Bob?

Phillies vs Yankees in the World Series. You may have heard about it. It's on page 9 of the sports section right after 100 articles about Brett Favre. I'll be rooting for the Phils but the Yankees are pretty damn good. I like Derek Jeter. He doesn't get wrapped up in all the bullshit. He just plays ball. Tuffy, bring your mitt over some time. An old man might surprise you.

Waiting for race report from So Dak.

Do I eat? Play basketball? Vacuum? Take the train to the airport to people watch?

Friday, October 23, 2009


It's a wet dog morning out there today. We walked down to 42nd and Cedar where the lovely Courtney gave the dogs their daily goodies. Stabby's serves good food at a competitive price. However, Mrs and I have decided that breakfast out is ridiculously overpriced so the only place we frequent is the Richfield Country Buffet. It's f-ing eggs, potatoes, a slice of bacon and potatoes, Jimmy!

Waiting patiently for further instructions about a coffee meeting.

We hang our flag at half mast today to remember the great Soupy Sales who was just too GD entertaining for his own good. Google Soupy Sales or whatever the hell you kids do these days.

9,000 homeless people in Minnesota on any given night. Glad the recession is over.

Stay warm. Make your sweetie some stale bread French Toast in the morning. See you in church.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Dad lets me drive in the driveway

This is old news to y'all here in Minnesota but my 5 readers in other states might find this interesting and probably humorous. Johnny Boy, you need to build us one.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Then a big ol' basket it will be

Rain ride to CRC went swimmingly. You bet your ass that's a Banjo Brothers commuter backpack. I had my lock, 3 pairs of dry socks, 4 stocking hats, 2 pairs of gloves, a camera, cell phone, $11, a jacket, muffler off a "68 Buick Riviera and 10 foot party sub in my backpack. bully for that MF.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Reminds me of the last time I let Snowy Bear drive

Not only should you not drink and drive because you might spill some is the fact that you may not be able to pick a tree small enough to run over. Under the wiper is a note (not a ticket) from a Minneapolis policeman suggesting that the branches in the back of the truck should really be tied down.

To me the uniforms are more important than the games

Tuffy is a kindred spirit when it comes to the fashion of sports. Just last night we exchanged texts about the Bear's dark blue pants on the road. I love these Bronco's throwbacks especially the socks. I'll have this jersey. I'm just not paying 250 bucks for it.

Here's a couple of my least favorites:
Seattle wore these a couple of weeks ago. These are better suited to flagging traffic through road construction.
Oregon kinda has the market cornered when it comes to ugly college uniforms. Some of these combos are ok but the one with the big O is just hideous.
I just never warmed up to these rainbow jobbers and even the black guys couldn't make these look good when they were part of the African-American fashion scene.

I'm no Len Drusken but these are really bad. Once again it's Oregon from a couple of years ago. Now all the jerseys have duck feather type markings on the shoulders.

Tuffy, call in all your markers for an early look at any Twins uniform changes.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I was floored

Who knew anyone read Spencer's blog much less took huge block quotes to heart. Good job kid. Why blog if you're not going to piss someone off.

Friday, October 16, 2009


In my flash forward I was hauling a shitload of donuts in the rickshaw...

We went here for our anniversary so I nominate it as a Tweet Up lunch location. I'm back on Twitter in a observing capacity much like the FBI monitors your cell phone texts.

So the runaway balloon dealie may have been bullshit. Maybe little Falcon (Falcon? You're f-ing with me, right?) can do the talk show circuit.

Enjoy your cross racing. Enjoy your sex. Eat a big ol' pastry. See you in church.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Make your father proud. Push your way to the front.

We've been married 29 years today which means we met 30 years ago today and Doctor Morganstern took out my torn ACL 30 years ago too. I've been lucky to have a great wife and a great mother. I'm very grateful for this.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Basketball Jones

Pure Jenius plays touch football? F-ing roadies!

In addition to analyzing my game at the net, my tennis coach Julia had time to submit a photo of her 2010 Black Dog bike. Note: This doesn't look like a bike a would ride without a helmet.

Monday, October 12, 2009

While Tuffy shows a movie...

I'll glue your tubulars, bitch

Don't go away just yet

Tell her that if she text messages you one more time...

Day maid needs to dust

Sitting at your desk wondering how your sterling fantasy football team could have done so shitty.

A moment of silence for the Metrodome

On the other hand let's call in the air strike for the Metrodome. You Twins fans will be ok outdoors even on the coldest days. You don't need no stinking roof. When you have the roof (Milwaukee) it's just too tempting to close that baby on marginally cool (50 to 60 degrees) days. Get out the North Face tough guy.

I don't believe I've laughed at a movie like I did at Zombieland.

Snow again in Minneapolis today. Mrs was driven to work and will be picked up at 3:15. Mexican pastries have been purchased because I'm too lazy to bake right now.

Mrs has decorated our home for Halloween and between that and jerseys I will be picture posting quite often today. Don't give me that shit about how busy you are at work. Actually, Snides describes your day quite accurately here.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Tuffy to head North American operations

Ben at Freewilly on the Greenway drew those stars freehand. You know, there's a video of me lighting a candle at a wedding...

I can hear the vacuum cleaner in the other room calling me out like a gunfighter. This I can handle.

Sgt Bolstad will be deployed again in the next two weeks. He acts like he's such a bad ass and that he doesn't care if he gets killed but I see through that bullshit.

Metro Mobility bus driver huh meshugge? Did they tell you that driving like a complete asshole is mandatory?

Clown bike is easier to ride with 70 pounds of air in the tires rather than 35.

See you in church.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

You know you'll be watching baseball outdoors, don't you?

Tuffy, this is the kind of stuff you're supposed to come up with. I know, you've got papers to grade. The guys on the sign will shake hands after Twin's home runs next year. Don't worry, they'll use a hand sanitizer first and they went to high school together...wink, wink huh Debbie.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Alright class, let's button it

Dogs have been walked, breakfast has been consumed, pea soup is on, car is at the shop and a baseball game starts at 1:30. That's a lot. Better try to fit a nap in there somewhere.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

For Jason from Start Bike Racing

This was my second dismount attempt ever. It will be harder to do on a grass surface. Why does everyone make such a big deal of the cyclocross dismount? Hell, you're shitty level of fitness will drag you down more than any technical stuff.

Friday, October 2, 2009

I was paroled 7 months ago today

Yeah baby, seven months since I was summoned to the principal's office. This is also one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies acted to perfection by one of my favorite actors.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Here kitty kitty

Snowy may be ready for a litter box. Unless she knows she's going for a walk she needs to be coaxed outside. That plant has caught hell over the years.

I drove Miss Debbie to work because it's raining. Period.

I have a grocery list and grocery cash. I think your Richfield Target will be the destination.

The talk about how to get out of Afghanistan reminds me of the the early 70's when we were in Vietnam. We're fighting an enemy on their home turf and that's usually not good.