Monday, January 30, 2012

It's amazing what people think their used shit is worth. I'm on a jersey forum and there's an open forum for sales of used shit. I wish I could just say: Hey boys, lower the fucking prices! You're old laundry isn't worth that much.

I've ridden 207 miles this year on my bike. I eclipsed the 200 mile mark on April 7th last year. Not everyone is sad about a lack of snow.

HBO pimped the shit out of their new series Luck. Mrs remarked that she hated all of the characters which doesn't help. We like Boardwalk Empire better. It's interesting because my grandmother was born in 1903 or 1904 so she would have been a teenager in the early 1920's.

Coffee tomorrow morning at One on One. Let the rotation begin.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Did you click on the link for that couch in Wrigleyville? I can't find the one on the south side that has bunk beds for 17 bucks. Mrs laughed at the thought of throwing her ass into the top bunk.

Gave the girl at the Donut Cooperative an extra quarter tip for NOT reading the donut roster to me. I wanted the coconut creme donut but my mother's grave would burst into flames if I spent $3 for a f-ing donut.

Midtown is changing hours as of Monday and will open at 8 instead of 6:30.

I could ride to One on One. They open at 7:30 and Karna is nice.

Hakkahn Olyjawon (spelled wrong, Fuck you) opens at 6:30 at Sovereign Grounds.

Ma and Pa Kettle are a little too busy opening cans of soup to have any personality at Firewhatever at 38th and 37th.

Donut Cooperative opens at 7 but then I'd be an even bigger fat ass within a month. That, and I can only handle the whole Portlandia schtick about once a week.

Monday, January 23, 2012

I could see myself spending a week on this couch. I could meet PW in the loop for lunch. Keep a piss pot of Dunkin Donuts handy. Buy a hardware store Magna and give it to a homeless guy when I leave town. Endless possibilities, my boy.

Friday, January 20, 2012


 Hey Mr, have you got any candy?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I can look at this picture and not get hungry. You know why? Because I had tuna for lunch so the rest of this afternoon I'll feel like I'm going to vomit. I could take an antacid but why spoil the fun.

The only people who are allowed to ride a bike on the sidewalk are kids, my Mexican brothers and me. And Mrs too, of course. Speaking of which, I rode my bike on the sidewalk on Cedar from 42nd Street down to Cedar and Lake, and on Lake Street from Cedar to 21st. You see a lot of stuff from the sidewalk that you can't see when you take your life in your hand and ride either on Cedar or Lake Street. I know, I know, I should be riding a Magna if I'm riding on the sidewalk but I look like the neighborhood crazy so all is well.

I think I'm setting zero as my new limit for riding a bike. I don't care how tough you are. I want to be compared to every 53 year old man whether they ride a bike or plop their fat ass down on the couch.

Fuck you. I'm off my meds and I know where you live.

Love Ray

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I used an old e-mail I set up for Mrs to get 10 percent off at the NFL shop and while I was at it I posted on her old blog. Mention was made of the will. The will is only worth a shit if we die today. If we live to 80 we won't have a pot to piss in. Right? That's the American way.

Why the fuck do people always tell you how busy they are with their job and of course shuttling their offspring to soccer, band practice and underwater basket weaving? I don't care. Fuck you, I'm going to count how many Metro Transit buses go down 42nd Street between the hours of 10 and 2.

I rode my bike 12 miles today and 12 yesterday and nobody including me gives a shit.

What if I don't applaud a woman who's 8 and a half months pregnant for riding a bike on a 15 degree morning?

Oh sure, tomboy girls are swell but give me a nice girl with at least 30 pairs of shoes.

Look at that dog! What a magnificent beast. Gotta go. Bus just went by, Fucky McFuck Fuck.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012

I told you I still had it. No soup for you? What bullshit that was. Only smug New Yorkers would put up with that kinda shit.


I was going to post a photo every day for a year but we see how far that went. Some of you have sent in photos in the past which is always good. I still need to find that classic shot of Bald n Surly's lunch. It's in my email inbox along with 500 other items.

Hip, hip, hooray! I guess those IRS and Minnesota refund checks don't expire as fast as I thought.

Ebay is sure turning into a bummer for jersey collectors. Most of the shit on there is fake. I'm on a jersey message board that likes to post the worst of the fakes. But still I search.

I'm not sure cyclists are ever going to be accepted by the general population. It won't happen until it's no longer fashionable to bash cyclists in everyday conversation.

Send those photos with your douchephones and other devices to You may become a star and win some crap.

Sunday, January 1, 2012