Just think how life would be if meteors blowing up in the atmosphere were more of a daily occurrence. One minute you're walking the dog and the next minute you're hiding under your neighbor's car. Oh fuck, I've got a good jersey on and here comes a fucking meteor. You may stop sweating the small stuff, huh sporty?
Only money is stopping me from doing it up right on May 1st which happens to be my official retirement day. Minnesota Public Retirement Fund will deposit the money in my account shortly thereafter because banks and other financial institutions make a killing off escrow accounts.
I would start the retirement party by having the guy who belts out the national anthem at Blackhawks games do the honors in my front yard.
I hope Snakecrotch finds Sasquatch. I really do.
I love all 12 of you who are reading this shit. Now go back to fucking work. Do something, even if it's wrong.