I rode a bike for the first time in almost a month and it seemed to be more like exercise than I remember. Of course I rode 11 miles instead of the 1.23 that I planned to ride. But now it's lunch time and the refridgerator is flush with leftovers.

Sacha Baron Cohen Spills Ashes on Ryan Seacrest - 2012 Oscars

Fridays

I think we can still use it for French toast.

Who's Beyonce'?

The former Dixon, Illinois, Comptroller, is going to jail for embezzling 53 million dollars from the town's kitty and will be doing a 20 year bit in prison. Hey bucky, it isn't like you haven't taken a few work pens home with you. The US Marshall's are going to auction off the goodies she bought with her extra income including some jewelry. OK, quite a bit of jewelry. They are also selling her vast stable of horses including some frozen semen in case some of you kinky motherfuckers are interested.

Just think how life would be if meteors blowing up in the atmosphere were more of a daily occurrence. One minute you're walking the dog and the next minute you're hiding under your neighbor's car. Oh fuck, I've got a good jersey on and here comes a fucking meteor. You may stop sweating the small stuff, huh sporty?

Only money is stopping me from doing it up right on May 1st which happens to be my official retirement day. Minnesota Public Retirement Fund will deposit the money in my account shortly thereafter because banks and other financial institutions make a killing off escrow accounts.

I would start the retirement party by having the guy who belts out the national anthem at Blackhawks games do the honors in my front yard.

I hope Snakecrotch finds Sasquatch. I really do.

I love all 12 of you who are reading this shit. Now go back to fucking work. Do something, even if it's wrong.

Jamal Crawford Offense Highlights 2012/2013