Double nickels, beeotch!

Let's hear it first for Uncle Paul who came through with the Sun Times yet again. You motherfuckers aren't going to think you're so cute when I leave my half of the money to him. He also enclosed a box of Girl Scout cookies that I'm sure were bought under duress. Thanks again, Uncle Paul. You're a mensch of the highest order.

Turned 55 yesterday. Hold the applause, please.

 

This is my birthday present that I picked out for my birthday. It's a game issued Penguins jersey that I bought from a jersey dealer in Pittsburgh who is also a mortician. Can't beat that shit. Game issued means they prepared it for the guy but for some reason he never used it.

 

 

I turned 55 yesterday. I can draw my City pension at 55. According to the letter my retirement association sent me: 'The effective date of your benefit will be 05/01/2013. PERA will pay you an estimated benefit within approximately two weeks following your effective date of retirement, or approximately two weeks of the date your application is received in our office, whichever is later.'

 

I love it when you double-talk me.