49ers: Joe Montana had to spoil the whole Rudy story with the facts. What a prick. What's the matter Joe? Not getting enough attention? Jordan has the same problem. Piss on Montana. I do however like 9ers coach Mike Singletary and wide receiver Michael Crabtree. Crabtree was also the name of Robert Downey's character in Wonder Boys which might be Michael Douglas's best movie.
Seahawks: Well, being that Pete Carroll fled USC as the posse was closing in and those lime green alts were hideous last year I predict the Squeahawks will go 0 and 14. Wait, there's 16 games until the greedy bastards who run the NFL add 2 more regular season games. It's estimated that an NFL player loses 1 to 3 years of life expectancy for every year he plays.
Rams: Another dome team. You people have no idea how brutal that Saint Louis winter can be. I'll watch reruns of The Golden Girls before I watch the Rams.
Cardinals: With Kurt Warner and Anquon Boldin gone Larry Fitzgerald Jr will have to do everything including park cars, return punts and pop popcorn. As my boss at the city used to say, stick a broomstick up his ass and he can sweep too. Wait, this just in, Joe Montana claims the existence of Santa Claus to be bullshit.