Cowboys: It's 10:53 and I haven't been up this late since election night 1976. I liked the Cowboys more when Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson were dating. I like Jessica Simpson with a little more extra cheese. Yeah, the Cowboys are basically another dome team but then you know how rough and tough those drugstore cowboys are. It's Romo's turn to get knocked on his ass hard. Then the fun will start.
Eagles: When I think of Philadelphia I think of Patrick Kane's series winning goal and the silence at the arena. The Eagles never seem to get the job done and this year will be no different.
Redskins: I predict that Albert Haynesworth will stuff Shanahan into a trash can and have a pretty good season thereafter. Donovan McNabb will make everyone forget about Joe Theisman who still has nightmares of Lawrence Taylor who single handedly kept the cocaine trade alive in NYC.
Giants: Unable to locate Jimmy Hoffa's body the Giants were forced to build a new stadium. I know that sounds crazy but that's the way it is. My favorite Giants memory is of Phil Simms running for his life at Soldier Field in January 1986. Don't Giants players have dental plan? Can't somebody make some teeth for that gap-toothed MF Strahan?