Thursday, September 9, 2010

No, I'm not watching the football game tonight. It's baseball season so I'll watch the Giants and Padres at 9 pm. NFL marketing be damned. But, I will do a little dog and pony about each NFL team or until I get bored.

NFC North ?

Packers: I think the Packers may win the division because I think they can outdrink any state in the Union. Sure, you Minnesotans talk a good story but when it comes down to crunch time the Cheeseheads are in a league of their own.

Vikings: Beat the Saints tonight. Don't beat the Saints tonight. Who cares? The Saints won the game that counted last January. True story. I rooted for the Vikings in all four of their Super Bowl losses. They couldn't have scored against Pittsburgh if they had gotten to play with 15 guys. As for this year, the Minnesota media kisses Brett Favre's ass just enough to make the playoffs. He will then send everyone in Minnesota a free pair of Wrangler jeans. Wow, what a big spender.

Bears: Not since Lance Briggs abandoned his $250,000 car on the Kennedy have I been less enthused about a Bears season. If the Bears coach wasn't named Lovie I think he'd get canned. How can you fire a guy named Lovie? The best thing I can say about the Bears is that the Blackhawks season starts October 8th. For y'all reading this in the UK, I'm from Chicago but I've lived here like 27 years. I never drank the Kool Aid so I'm still a Chicagoan at heart. It's a casserole, beeotch!

Lions: Man, I remember the Lions playing on Thanksgiving Day outside and how much effort my mother put into her meal. Now the Lions play inside. Who gives a shit? Football was meant to be played outdoors on a rock hard frozen field in front of auto workers from Flint who all have a flask in their coat.