If you're going to drink then have a Long Island Iced Tea in a really big glass

All in all it was a pretty good year. I got an early parole from the City. My lawn looks like a million bucks especially now. I rode 5600 miles and came within 8 seconds of my best at the Dog. We payed off the house. I procured the coveted Angels and Marlins alternate jerseys and I celebrated 30 years of knowing the best girl in the whole world. God bless you kids I love you.

Force = Mass Times Acceleration

My buddy Ella R insisted we take a run down the hill. I made sure I held on tight and didn't dump her. I need a bigger sled or a smaller ass.

Merry Christmas

Kiah is feeling quite a bit better. She's back to begging for food and going on short walks. She gave my snowman the evil eye when she went outside a couple of minutes ago.

Even though Kiah is still ill I remember Mother very fondly on her birthday and rejoice in the fact that I was privileged enough to spend 50 years with her.

Fridays

My little Kiah Bear isn't feeling well and I'm an emotional wreck. We took her to the vet on Monday and yesterday and the only thing he can partially diagnose is an inner ear infection. Mrs took off yesterday for the vet visit and will probably leave early today. I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude but my little baby is pretty weak. I'm lucky to have Debbie because in spite of her small stature she is my rock against the demons that lie within myself. Have a good weekend. Love Ray.

You don't want to know about band camp...

Here's a photo of a warmer day although if the leaves were turning in Northern Wisconsin then that water was fairly cold. Maggie Girl was quite the swimmer. Think she wasn't?

Basketball head has been found

I think the Coach purse really enhances the photo.

We're all pretty sad around here about the end of Bikethow. It's hard to keep something going. Tweet up luncheon. Frye has small children and a real job. Super Rookie is school teacher and a tween and what was that about the Tweet Up Luncheon?

Wish I could have accompanied the Cullen boys on the road trip to Oregon for Cross Nationals...singing camp songs, eating junk food and playing license plate bingo.

I guess with Bikethrow going boots up I may have to create a list of links so you're not wandering the internet willy nilly.

Fridays

The usual suspects

I've driven the lovely Mrs to work every day this week except Monday when she called in sick because you can only stand so much of 33 year old women swooning about f-ing Twilight. Don't worry, Dennis Leary has my back on this.

Mailman vigil has been going since Wednesday. Baltimore Orioles road jersey on its way.

I may ride a bike to the end of the alley and back today.

If you see an automobile with a bike carrying device on it, then stay well clear of these individuals when you are on your little bicycle.

I will miss the Christmas cookie season at the City Of Richfield. But not that much homeboy.

The white Banjo Brothers backpack will sell like hotcakes (hmmm blueberry) when it hits the market in 2010.

Kiah the protector is lying next to me as I type this bullshit. Life is good.

I'm partial to those Russian tea cookies. Have a solid weekend. See you in church.

Christmas Eve morning ride

First Annual Christmas Eve Ride down the Greenway

When; December 24th 11:00 AM to 12:00 Noon

Where; Start at the Freewheel Midtown Bike Station and finish at Lake Calhoun.

What; Anyone who wants to ride, walk, jog run or just sing

Dress your bike up, we will bring a boom box and sing Christmas Carols as we ride down the Greenway to the lakes and back.

No real sponsor, ride at your own risk, dress warm and perhaps enjoy a cup of coffee. Most important make you’re self known and help us celebrate winter. Sing and be safe.

---

Oh God, here comes Santa

Mrs saw a mouse in the basement Sunday and now she's shopping for a flamethrower on Ebay. No, we can't get a cat because we're both allergic to cats.

I missed the Sarah Palin book signing at the Mall Of America. I guess I wouldn't say I Missed it.

Mrs and I are fans of Gangland on The History Channel.

It's going to snow. I think that was on the news one time.

Keep posted for some kind of ride on the Greenway Christmas Eve morning. I may be the Santa for this MF.

All things considered I'd rather be on Milwaukee Avenue. That's right bitch - Milwaukee Avenue, Logan Square, Chicago, Illinois.

Fridays

Gamer

You made it to Friday! Have a large foo foo coffee to celebrate. I'm partial to egg nog lattes.

We're screening the Bourne series this week.

I've had trouble sleeping the last couple nights because I can't find a comfortable position in bed for my knee. I'm good with the pain because the knee you get when they replace yours isn't near as good as the original equipment. And yes Rosenberg I get to bitch about it forever because this isn't like the rest of humanity bellyaching about the slow line at the bank or motorists getting hurt feelings because a cyclist slows them down by 4 seconds on their way home. How's that for a f-ing sentence Mr Tuffy?

Have a great weekend. See you in church.

Here I am with my brother Jim. I think I'm about a week old and Jimmy Boy is like 8 or 9. That thing on the left is a rotary dial telephone. It didn't have caller ID.

If you noticed that the lights blinked at your place yesterday it was due to my I-pod crashing my computer. Additionally, the electric grid, Illinois Tollway System and Sexworld also experienced computer related maladies because of this.

The vigil for the UPS man continues.

21 degrees in Minneapolis right now. If you rode you bike to work today then ride it home too.

Nuff said.

Thank you Dad...

...for living through World War 2 so you could meet the great Adeline Przeslicke.

Hey pal, I've got shittier attitudes than this one.

Mrs was quite impressed by my Clapper setup for the Christmas tree.

Some guy in a car stopped me on the Parkway on Sunday to ask if I said something to him as he drove by. I was riding on the sidewalk at the time. He said I looked at him with a 'little attitude' when he went by. I told him that I hadn't said anything. I then said, 'Why, were you looking to start a fight?'. He called me a loser and got back in his car and left. He was an Indian (dots, not feathers) and could have used some lessons in street talk. The King's English doesn't come off as all that tough when trying to be a bad ass.

I spent money at CRC, Midtown Bike Center and One on One yesterday even though I think Guns-n-Rosenberg thought I paid for his coffee when I didn't. Put it on my tab, Tommy Gun.

Jersey coming today when the UPS guy comes through. And the beat goes on.

Now I know I'm old

Fridays

This bike was built up by my nephew Brian who's a throwback to the Steve Przeslicke, single wing formation, leather helmets, Git-R-Done era if there ever was one. It's a masterpiece for sure. Fix the cigarette lighter.

Thanksgiving '09

Nothing says Thanksgiving like meeting the Hiawatha Gang at Hard Times Cafe. While waiting for the boys I spoke to a guy who was released from jail this morning. He said he wasn't 'loitering' with an open container. He said he was walking with a liter of vodka.

Happy Thanksgiving

Give your mother an extra big hug for those of us who can't.

If you get hungry eat something

I'm pretty sure this stolen bike poster was off Twitter a while ago and I may have used it already but who cares?

Laying around the house eating leftovers, petting dogs and downloading songs off Itunes while wondering how you're getting along in your little cubicle. 14 minutes to college basketball, sporty.

Yay, Earl Heimes lives!

Ma speculated that her brother-in-law was dead but a little internet investigation led to this discovery. Let's form a posse and hit every nursing home in the Kenosha area to find him. The great Dorothy Heimes will live in our hearts and parlors forever.

Why I see you have a set of pipes

Fridays

A nice young fellow who stops in at Midtown gave me this hat this morning. Little old ladies knit these gems for the kids at the school where he teaches. I guess there were extras because kids would rather freeze their ass off than wear a hat. The hats may be a little too colorful for most of the kids, too. Mother learned how to knit (it probably took her all of two minutes to learn) in the early 80's and made many colorful gems such as this.

We miss you baby but your stamp is on just about every facet of our life.

American League MVP announced

I was named AL MVP today by League President Hurl in a ceremony at the prestigious CRC Coffee Bar. Hurl, who has cool in his DNA, made the presentation of the Rollo bobblehead trophy to me over coffee. Neither Rosenberg or Sarah Palin could be reached for comment.

Kids these days

Here's the story, Hurl. I think the lab was being operated by City Of Richfield employees.

It's too nice to go outside

ESPN has a college basketball marathon going. How good is that?

New Twins road uniforms shown above are pretty good I guess.

Is there anything to do in Big Lake? Saint Paul?

My neighbors have 3 kids who are 1,3 and 5. The one year old has the obligatory peanut allergy. I asked her what kind of fucking pansies are you women raising that all these kids are allergic to peanuts? She told me she heard it was related to stress experienced by pregnant women. OK, I'm game.

I guess it looks like bacon

Ink blot test this morning.

Be careful on your little bike in Minneapolis. Lots of motorists too f-ing lazy to scrape their windows.

Just talking to Big Dave at State Cross eliminated the pain in my heel.

Time for the Hot Stove League to start

It;s just about time for roadies to get out their trainers and start talking shit while a 50 year old woman still rides her bike to work at 6 am every day.

He's so cute and hugable

Mom, why does Ray call World Cycling the Evil Empire?

Nice enough guys when they're not talking about gluing tires

The boys were moving too fast to be in focus

State Championship Cross Racing

It's Albert and Emily! I made friends with every dog I could.

Fridays

I haven't seen Chuck in a while.

Probably going to Bassett Creek Park tomorrow to watch some cross racing. Mrs can't make it. She'll be shuttling the Snowy Bear and Kiah to their beauty appointments.

I went up on the roof yesterday and cleaned the gutters and valley from a shitload of leaves and seeds and branches too. Didn't come close to falling off which is a first. I'm through messing with leaves for this year. I had to become unemployed to finally get the job done.

Mrs and I will be going to Cains for chicken fingers. Happy college kids eating chicken. It's wonderful.

Momma cooked the breakfast with no hog.

Miss Debbie brought her first junk bike in from the alley recently. This warmed my red-headed-step-child's heart.

See you at Basket Park. I'll have a tranquilizer gun for Rosenberg.

I'll spare you the photo of a certain zebra

This reminds me, I need to call Duane.

According to the zoo volunteer this female Siberian tiger has rejected all of the suitors brought in to mate with her. I really liked when the grandmotherly volunteer said that the girl tiger 'cleaned his clock and they had to bring in the hoses' to describe one blind date.

Mrs finally cut the shit and posed for a photo. Over her right shoulder is a couple texting some kind of bullshit. Grandpa over his left shoulder is wondering if he could run away from his whiny grandchildren. I've got a car waiting, grandpa.

Little Debbie is all groweds up

The Bears got the piss pounded out of them again but Cutler threw the ball 47 times so I'm happy.

Mrs birthday celebration continues today with breakfast at Keys on Raymond and the Como Park Zoo. Photos of animal erections to follow.

I really want to start posting more photos (besides the animal stuff) of the neighborhood for my Chicago family. Someday, I'll position myself on 42nd Street to photograph some of the bike traffic. Don't look at the camera.

Thanks to the Donut Guy for the malware removal program. It sure did the trick.

I have a professional football player following me on Twitter which confuses me a little. He's only following like 150 people. Hmmmm...

Get to work.

A gift from the boys at Delta House

Hurl told me where to get the flag and Ben at Midtown zip tied the bad boy onto the basket. I'd love to chat but it's a nice sunny day and I'm off to Sibley Park to run the one man fast break. Baseball ended last night. Baseball should be over by mid-October.

Wednesdays

Boy, it sure got to be 12:30 pretty fast. I'd love to get out there for a solid 34 minutes of leaf raking/blowing/torching but it rained last night and I don't want to damage my lawn.

I was gonna do the Cross race at the Velodrome but Mrs made the cutest little sad face when I suggested something so distasteful as bike racing intrude into her birthday weekend. Her birthday is on Tuesday the 10th but she has outlined an entire list of activities which all sound great. So the only cross race I'll do this year will be Pork Chop which is just fine and dandy with me. If you're going to only do one race it should be Pork Chop.

Here's a shout out to my readers in Waukesha, WI and Barre, VT, who might be the oh so talented Chubby. I hope it's her. I'll torch this piece of shit for good when she stops reading it.

Tuffy, why not Radke?

Ok, that's quite enough of this drivel. See Agent Rosenberg if you want a refund.

F-ing roadies!

The neighbors were gather around the pole when I took the ladies for their morning constitutional. A bunch of kids in a Honda hit the pole and then drove away in their leaky radiator piece of shit. They need to be in school where strong men like Mr Tuffy keep them in line.

Mal/EncPK-JY and Mal/ObfJS-M come back every day and Webroot Internet Security only removes it for a while. As of 51 minutes ago I fired the IT Department except for the Poofter who couldn't handle such harsh treatment.

Someone picked up the Chicago Sun Times on a recent business trip. Let's just say he moved up a couple of spots in the will.

Dear diary, I did the dishes.

I like the dancing part of Dancing With The Stars. I just hate the judges and the fluff interviews.

Time for a snicky-snack.

8 months and 2 lawn mowings later...

I was laid off eight months ago today. My God, has it been good. This is not my hand. A supporter of the cause snapped this photo in front of the Richfield Public Works Facility.

It has been a very productive day so far. I hauled a very important pastry run. I did 59 minutes of leaf blowing and I gave myself a very stylish haircut.

Mrs has nice perimeter game and some sharp elbows

The wind blew in a Burger King wrapper from North Dakota

I've had a dogsitting gig the last 2 days. I got a jersey for my hard work. It's a friend but I'd let your dog out for a really cheap fee like 10 bucks a time as long as you live in the city. You'd have to lend me a key which would involve you getting over yourself. Your dog would love me. That's for sure. When the dogs return from their alien planet they'll be taking me, Mrs, Timmer and John and Carol Wroblewski back with them.

I may ride a bike today but I won't ride it far.

Halloween party out in south suburbia this evening. Pictures tomorrow.

The guy who's in charge of the donuts can't go to church on Sunday. That's in the bible.

Ok, time for that short bike ride. Eat as much candy as you can. Ride your bike to the end of the block and back. See you in church except for the Donut Guy.

All family business gets settled here

Colonel Klink makes a stop at CRC but can't make a call and B-Rad disses me on 42nd Street. Five foot 10 and 135 pounds so maybe now we can get someone to walk Aunt Sara down to Circle K. The mumu is a little snug but a Saver's stop will hopefully yield a polka dot ensemble.

Tatters and Flanders in the same morning beats the shit out of those scary health nuts at the Seward Co-op. Sullen high school kids at the bus stop except for the kid enjoying the smoky treat. Do they still make Chesterfields? WTF?

The one man fast break is run to perfection and calendar girl would meet a worthy adversary in the painted area. Mrs Sickboy is a breath of fresh air on a beautiful fall evening when You Think You Can Dance forces one to bed early.

I think of Mother every single day and only wish I could hug her one more time.

Payback

This is dedicated to the shitbird in the Audi who came within 8 or 10 inches of me by the hospital this morning. Soon, you will be inching home on snowy roads in rush hour traffic while Miss Debbie has a 20 minute commute on her little bicycle.

One take, Keb Mo

Droppin' shit with my African-American Mr Doctor Dre

I have no idea why it turned more yellow than orange this year. Global warming? Dry summer then snow in early October? Doctor Bob?

Phillies vs Yankees in the World Series. You may have heard about it. It's on page 9 of the sports section right after 100 articles about Brett Favre. I'll be rooting for the Phils but the Yankees are pretty damn good. I like Derek Jeter. He doesn't get wrapped up in all the bullshit. He just plays ball. Tuffy, bring your mitt over some time. An old man might surprise you.

Waiting for race report from So Dak.

Do I eat? Play basketball? Vacuum? Take the train to the airport to people watch?

Fridays

It's a wet dog morning out there today. We walked down to 42nd and Cedar where the lovely Courtney gave the dogs their daily goodies. Stabby's serves good food at a competitive price. However, Mrs and I have decided that breakfast out is ridiculously overpriced so the only place we frequent is the Richfield Country Buffet. It's f-ing eggs, potatoes, a slice of bacon and potatoes, Jimmy!

Waiting patiently for further instructions about a coffee meeting.

We hang our flag at half mast today to remember the great Soupy Sales who was just too GD entertaining for his own good. Google Soupy Sales or whatever the hell you kids do these days.

9,000 homeless people in Minnesota on any given night. Glad the recession is over.

Stay warm. Make your sweetie some stale bread French Toast in the morning. See you in church.

Dad lets me drive in the driveway

This is old news to y'all here in Minnesota but my 5 readers in other states might find this interesting and probably humorous. Johnny Boy, you need to build us one.

Then a big ol' basket it will be

Rain ride to CRC went swimmingly. You bet your ass that's a Banjo Brothers commuter backpack. I had my lock, 3 pairs of dry socks, 4 stocking hats, 2 pairs of gloves, a camera, cell phone, $11, a jacket, muffler off a "68 Buick Riviera and 10 foot party sub in my backpack. bully for that MF.

Reminds me of the last time I let Snowy Bear drive

Not only should you not drink and drive because you might spill some is the fact that you may not be able to pick a tree small enough to run over. Under the wiper is a note (not a ticket) from a Minneapolis policeman suggesting that the branches in the back of the truck should really be tied down.

To me the uniforms are more important than the games

Tuffy is a kindred spirit when it comes to the fashion of sports. Just last night we exchanged texts about the Bear's dark blue pants on the road. I love these Bronco's throwbacks especially the socks. I'll have this jersey. I'm just not paying 250 bucks for it.

Here's a couple of my least favorites:
Seattle wore these a couple of weeks ago. These are better suited to flagging traffic through road construction.
Oregon kinda has the market cornered when it comes to ugly college uniforms. Some of these combos are ok but the one with the big O is just hideous.
I just never warmed up to these rainbow jobbers and even the black guys couldn't make these look good when they were part of the African-American fashion scene.

I'm no Len Drusken but these are really bad. Once again it's Oregon from a couple of years ago. Now all the jerseys have duck feather type markings on the shoulders.

Tuffy, call in all your markers for an early look at any Twins uniform changes.